Nerf the world

“You can’t make a utopian society based on the lowest common denominator”

— Doug Stanhope

This TIME article was floating around Facebook last week and it finally got me to write a post that I have been thinking about for a while. I also feel like I'm more validated in writing it now that I have kids.

This "no kid left behind" stuff needs to stop. It's going to breed a generation of self entitled brats, you think this current generation is bad? Just wait...

Look, if you want to celebrate your kids achievements then go ahead, I'm not going to stop you. But don't force me to sit through an hour of phony awards and poorly written speeches from teachers just so your kid can feel special. YOU, as the parent, should be the one to make your kid feel special. That's not for anyone else to do, and the more people that make your kid feel special the more jaded they are going to be once they grow up. 

Don't get them to parade around in front of a room full of other parents. This has nothing to do with your kid feeling special. This is for you. You are the one that is taking pride in these events. The kids don't care. Sure they get to dress up and be with there friends but they can do that at a friends house, or a birthday party. They don't care.

This also carries through to the "every kid gets a medal" pandemic. When I was growing up the top three winners or teams got a medal, that's it. Not every damn kid who took a step on the pitch, let alone the ones that sat on the bench the whole time. 

If you didn't do well you didn't get anything (except maybe pizza if your coach was cool), that's how competitions work. Winners and losers. Those that excel and those that don't. 

Losing is a key part of sports. You learn more in a loss than a win. It was that sort of pain and sense of loss that made you improve, try harder, do better. If you get the same praise as the people that practice 4 times a week then what is that teaching you? "It's fine, I can mess around and I'll still get something". Is that healthy? No, not at all! 

I remember having to try out for our towns soccer team. We all did. Yes I got some static from the haters. Saying things like I'm only on the team because my dad's the coach. You know what, that's only partially true. Yes my dad was the coach, but he was the coach because he loved soccer and loved me. He taught me the game long before I was ever on a team. Those haters also helped build character.

One year my best friend didn't make the team. It was awkward. His dad called my dad. We didn't talk for like a few days. Guess what? He's still one of my best friends. Guess what? That has had no negative effect on his life since that week. You get over the pain, and get stronger because of it.

That's what losing teaches you.

That's what being picked last teaches you.

That's what sitting on the side lines while the other team gathers for their medals teaches you.

You grow and you get through life not expecting handouts for doing nothing.

Dinner and a Show

Have you ever seen a little boy express true terror at the smallest things. It's fantastically funny! 

Last night we thought we would try to eat out, at a restaurant, like normal people. It would be our first time taking the boys out as a family. We've been with other family members but as for dinner with just the four of us, that has never happened.

Everything was fine. Until we needed a bathroom break...

I'm going to pause here and recall a story from a few weeks ago.

We were in the garage, Parker, being the curious little boy he is, noticed a switch he could push. The switch happened to be on my compressor. I'm not sure if you have heard a compressor start up but it is loud, and instant. It scared the shit out of him immediately. Screams, tears, running for protection, look of panic on his little face.

So I took Parker to the washroom and we did our business, washed our hands as usual, and then we tried to dry them.

I'm sure people sitting outside the washrooms were surprised to see me come out with a little boy. I'm also sure if little boys could feel and understand what shame is he would have curled into my arms and hid away from the world.

The shrieks of terror and the clawing along my neck to get away from the hand dryer were very real. The reaction was very reminiscent of that faithful day in the garage. In fact it reminded me of a scene from another bathroom.

I tried to show him that it was safe and it was merely used to dry our hands. 

That didn't work.

We ended up using my neck and shirt to dry his hands. 

We'll work on it...

Let the Child Fly

I wrote this in a notebook a year or so ago and with the creation of this blog I thought I would go dig it up and post it.

I was following my nephew as he crawled around the house this evening. I wasn't following to make sure he wouldn't touch anything or get hurt. I was following him to make sure he touched everything and learned.

A door stop to you is just an annoyance when you run your vacuum past it. To a child a door stop is an entertaining noise, found nowhere else in the house, a button to be pushed, a toy that bounces back, like on his bouncy chair.

A portal to another world full of interesting shapes, sounds and colors is just a cupboard to you.

Ants crawling around your garage are a sign to pick up pest control products next time you're at Canadian Tire. Yet a child will watch, poke, squish, divert, dump dirt on them for an hour or more.

Watching him made me see that a child doesn't care what something is, more so how something is. How does it work, how does make noise, how does it move, taste, feel.

Next time you are around a child let them crawl around just just watch. Watch the power of a fresh new mind grow and absorb. Watch their face as they try to work things out in their head.Remember, the mundane things in your life are the newest, most amazing thing to a child.

Every second is a new chance to learn something for a child. Don't stifle that by stopping them in case they might get hurt. Let them get hurt, that's how you learn. Obviously I mean a bump on the head or a slight pinch of the finger, don't let them crawl across the stove or anything like that. 

The Wright brothers didn't learn to fly by being tethered to the ground.

A great woman once said "Take chances, make mistakes, get messy." 

Let the child fly.

The Story of my Boys

This is a story all about how our lives got flipped, turned upside down. I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the king to these two princes here.

Cooper, 11 months old

Parker, 2 1/2 years old

We have been in these boys lives since they were born. The two of them, their mother, and father lived with us briefly until they all moved up to Fox Creek for a time. 

Recently more and more people have been asking me about them. Why have we been posting so many pictures? Why are we potty training? Are we parents all of a sudden?

The answer is yes. In February of 2015 the boys officially moved in with us. In June we will be awarded guardianship and parental control.  

We couldn't be happier. To go from 0 to 2 kids over night was a bit of a challenge and a major learning curve. At the same time it has been the most rewarding thing we have ever done.

It has been amazing to watch them grow and learn. Watching them pick something up, inspect it, try to eat it, try to smash it, love it and then move on to the next thing is so much fun to watch.

Being a dad is my new favorite thing. Hence the starting of this blog. This might be the more active blog on the site.