I Stand Watch

Its a funny place the maternity ward at a hospital. As a 'new' dad all the nurses keep telling me to get some rest, make sure I'm eating and taking care of myself as well. 'I'm good' I always reply.

All I hear in the middle of the night as I write this is the soft bustle of the nurse's station beyond the door. The cooing of babies as they dream, the soft breathing of my wife. The hum of the HVAC, thinking is it too hot in here? Now is it too cold? The ticking of the ancient, institutional clock in our room. How long until they need to eat again? When did they pop last? When did I pop last? 

'Get some sleep' they say. How am I expected to sleep when my mind is racing? All I can think about is the future. While I consider myself a pretty damn good dad I still have questions and fears running through my head. Fueled by lack of sleep and an abundance of caffine, my mind races along side my heart.

I stand watch. Here in the dark, in the least comfy chair of my life, in 3 day old clothes, bad breath, a neck beard that would make hipsters scoff. I wonder, how am I supposed to sleep. My beautiful wife sleeping, as her body recovers, beside me. My two amazing new treasures bundled up as little burritos of love in front of me. There is no time for sleep. It is my job to stand watch. To protect them. Now and always. 

I stand watch. To protect them from the cold, from hunger, from monsters, real and imaginary. Protect their bodies, their hearts and their minds. Protect their souls, their wonder and their dreams. It's my job to protect them. A job I take seriously. More seriously than any other responsibility I have ever accepted.  

So to all the nurses in all the materity wards, I say this to you. Thank you for your concern. Thank you for the work you do. Form you I've learned that it is not my sole responsiblity to keep them safe. It is shared. 

But regardless. 

I stand watch.

Ridin' Dirty

What do you get a three year old boy for his birthday? Obviously the biggest thing you had always desired as a little boy. That's right, super powers....no wait, Power Wheels!!

Who didn't want a Power Wheel when they were young? I still wanted one until about a week ago! 

So here it is, Parker's Ford F150. We cruise the neighborhood pretty much on a daily basis now.

See our build, reveal (they went to bath while I finished up), and adventures below. Enjoy

Threenager

Warning. This post contains language some people may find offensive. And this is the edited version...

Threenager. This is a word I was introduced to a few weeks ago and it has since been infesting my life like a bad case of family lice. Make sure you read that right. I still miss it even though it has become a huge pet peeve of mine. Threenager, read as (3)nager. I get it from Facebook groups, my sister-in-law, and my wife (because she knows it annoys me)

Definition; A person 3 years old, possessing the attitude, and demeanor of a teenager

Are you kidding me. This is a thing? 

Your three year old has attitude? No your three year old is being a three year old. Trying to learn their place in the world by pushing your buttons.

Is your three year old moping around the house with his headphones in listening to shitty teen angst music pissing and moaning about some irrelevant bullshit that doesn't matter to anyone but themselves but still they are going to post their stupid ignorant thoughts on social media anyways and then piss and moan about that because none of their shitty teen friends favorited or retweeted it. 

No, your three year old is sitting in their own filth (well I guess that is similar to teenagers) watching Caillou (which is probably your first problem). That whiny little shit is a real asshole, pissing and moaning until he gets what he wants. Just hearing that little shit's shrill, eardrum piercing voice causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. But my hatred for that little animated cancer having brat should be saved for another rant.

Drawing similarities between a three year old and a teenager is ridiculous. They're acting like an asshole. That's the only similarity. So call it what it is.

It's all these shitty mom's groups that come up with all these ridiculous words to make themselves feel better that they aren't calling their kids assholes or being shitty parents.

Kids are going to give you some attitude. They have to. They have to learn their place in the hierarchy of the family, society and life. If you let them get away with shit it's just going to cause you more problems as they develop into fivenagers, then come the shithead sevens, transitioning into the troublesome tens, then before you know it you're raising a convict.

All that because you felt bad about calling your kid an asshole. Do it, it feels good.

You can say it. I say it. I know a few other parent who say it too. Those are the parents I listen to when I need advise. They are the ones that have the well behaved kids. They are the people that will laugh at this post, just as we laugh at those shitty mom's groups and their made up words. 

*mic drop*

Boys Room

Gotta love the long weekend. Time to sit down, relax, put your feet up....oh wait, nevermind, we have kids. No such thing as long weekends, only busier weekends.

For the last week our boys have been sleeping on their mattresses on the floor. Not because we are poor, shitty parents. We were waiting for their beds to come in. Also seeing as Cooper is only 13 months we thought it would be good training and wouldn't mattered if he rolled off. I mean it wouldn't really matter if he rolled of the bed either way. Kids are made of rubber and that boy  has a hard head. He would just land with a thud and roll over.

Well lucky me, they came in, and what do you know, Lori gives me a deadline. Nap time, 1 hour, better hurry. At least the deadline was for after we got the beds upstairs. That in itself took about 30 minutes. Having only your pregnant wife around to help carry a 300 ton box upstairs is less than ideal. We managed. Barely. There were laughs, tears, pulled muscles but after 30 past my deadline one was constructed. The other had to wait until after nap time, and didn't take as long. Throw in some Minion decals and we are rolling.

After the beds came the closet. Thankfully Grandpa took the kids for the night so we could work late into the night. Yay!!

Beds by daddy, headboards by mommy

Technology & Kids

I know a few parents who are in a desperate fight to keep their kids away from technology. We all know too well the lengths we all go to trying to hide our smartphones while still keeping them within reach to keep an eye on our social media. For the most part we are all trying to instill the same childhood on our kids that we had. One full of play and imagination and social interaction. Well, as a gamer parent and a tech fiend I'm here to tell you that it is a losing battle.

Now I usually have Netflix on for the boys while we are downstairs and I am gaming on the PC, but during that time they are also playing with their trains or jumping around on the couches. And yes, we do have a screen in the vehicle, but that is only for long road trips. It isn't even in the car unless we are taking a long drive. However we do keep our phones away from the kids. At the moment there is a time and a place for technology. But that time is increase, and soon you won't be able to find a place that doesn't have some technological interface.

You see technology is only going to increase in scope, availability, and accessibility, exponentially from here on out.

“Technology has advanced more in the last thirty years than in the previous two thousand. The exponential increase in advancement will only continue.”

— Niels Bohr

Right now you are worried about your 2 year old playing with your smartphone and wondering at what age kids get phones now a days, I know we were thinking about that. I've heard parents say how their kid can work their phone better than themselves. Well in the next 10-14 years when they are at that age there might be something completely different that takes the role of phones as we see them now.

My first flip phone, which could call and send sms messages only was less than 15 years ago. Now your phone has your watch, day planner, phone book, web browser, email, social media, streaming video, music player, gps, camera, exercise companion, etc. Think of the next 15 years. You can't. You can't fathom it. Could your grandparents have dreamed of the idea of Skype/Facetime with their grandkids from across the world? Being able to see family in real time as compared to snail mail letters that they used to communicate with over the course of weeks. It's literally impossible to imagine what is coming.

Just as you are so detached from your parents "back in my day" stories, your kids will be rolling there eyes at you. You can already see evidence of it now. Do your kids even know what the icon for the save button is? Do you really think about what you are saying when you say, "roll up the window", "can you tape that show", or "hang up the phone". None of those really apply anymore. You don't roll up the windows, you don't tape things, and you don't hang up the phone any more.

You can't fight the advancement of technology. You can only learn and grow with it. Don't get stuck behind. Times are different, your kids have the power to connect to the entire world in an instant. What you can do is teach your kids about safety in the technological world. Namely on the internet, below are links to previous articles, mainly regarding kids and gaming, how to help protect them and how positive online communities can be.

Related articles;

What your Kids are Playing

How To Protect the Ones you Love

Online Community

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